Thinking about past - present

After a physically exhausting day in the garden. Then a relaxing hour or so chilling watching Rod Stewart's life story as I was sketching with soft pastels.

They then show a concert that is almost 40 years old and I thought great just the perfect end to my day.

Then they play a song that back in the day was great but had no special meaning to me. However it just fits perfectly into my life right now.

What happens then is I end up crying like a big kid.

It made me sit and think again. Not a good thing to do at almost 1am.

Not to worry though there are folk in the world much worse of than me. So I'm going to sit and chant for the happiness of ANYONE who is struggling and finding life hard right now.

So if that happens to be you at the moment know that there is someone thinking of you, chanting and praying that life improves for us ALL!!!

Parenthood of today

After watching Long Lost Family tonight it made me consider the damage done to todays children by arguing parents.

You see youngsters on tv shows like Jeremy Kyle shouting your the daddie, no your not!

Then you look at Long Lost Family and see the damage done to kids who have lost contact with parents, or siblings.

When the kids of today grow up and start asking questions about who their natural parents are. How much damage is going to be done when mum says 'I'm not sure who your dad is'? Or mum do I have any siblings? N mum replies 'well I think your dad had kids with that lass or this lass but really I'm not sure' 

The kids are then gonna be terrified wondering can I date this lass or that lass? Or could they be now half sibling?

So in conclusion I'd say "come on you prospective parents. Let your kids know who these family is parents and siblings! Consider putting together a kinda scrap book for your kids so there's no argument about who their family is! Consider even putting together a simple family tree. This will prevent so much potential damage being done to your kids!"

Bloody social workers

Sat here watching "Long Lost Family"

The story of Laurence Peat and getting so bloody angry. Once again social services, social workers, have ruined this man's life!
They have prevented this man, for over 50 years, from being able to contact his birth mother.

When Laurence decided to try and contact his mum, he got access to his adoption record.

However those records were virtually no use. The only information about his birth mother was her name and address that was 50 year out of date.

There were no usefull dates ie. Mums date of birth or even date of marriage.

The social worker had not thought that information relevant enough to include it in Laurence's adoption file.

In my eyes situations like this should not be allowed to happen. I tried to petition government about this to change the way there records are kept. I found it impossible to do what they wanted so I gave up.

Once more showing how bloody useless I am.

When will social services realise that what they are doing relating to situations like this is just wrong!!!!!

When a child is adopted/fostered these should be enough information in their social services file that will allow them to find there birth parents. If that is what they want.

I doubt anyone from social services will ever read this. If they do then please please wake up and give adopted/fostered kids a fighting chance to eradicate demons from their past!

My blog

This blog page is where I voice my own negativity. I do have another blog where I post positive things just at the moment I am struggling to find anything positive to say.

It is not me looking for sympathy or looking for anything else at all. It is my way of reliving the tension in ME.

There is also nothing anyone else can do about the way I feel. The only person who can save me is ME.

I don't want or need a saviour!

What I do need is for me to understand me. To get my head into a place where I trust and like me. I don't at the moment!

Trust no one 2

Just to clear things up!

Some folk thought my previous blog with this title was me saying I have no one in my life.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS SAYING!

What I was talking about was having no one I COULD TRUST!

See the thing with trust is it starts with yourself. If you don't trust yourself how can you trust anyone else?

I don't trust myself in so many ways. Feeling like that about myself means its impossible to trust anyone else.

When you feel worthless and don't feel anything you do is right or what you should be doing. Then its not possible to get your head into any space that allows good thoughts or that allows you to accept what others are saying!!!!!

Disgusting Zoo Help close it please

URGENT SIGN & SHARE “So this is what happened right now. Taken this morning from Surabaya Zoo, East Java, Indonesia. Horrible. A living hell. They eat plastics just to stay alive. Please share this, Save Surabaya Zoo. Nobody cares but us who speak for the unspoken! The world must know!"

There is a petition to close the zoo down:

http://www.change.org/petitions/dr-susilo-bambang-yudhoyono-close-surabaya-zoo

This must be one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen. It angers me so much!

The people responsible should be cut so blood is flowing freely and placed in the cage with these tigers and let the poor animals feed.

Probably not very PC but anyone who can do this to any animal doesn't deserve any better!!!

Trust no one

When your like me and are forced through circumstances to evaluate your life. You start to wonder who you can trust!

Then you start looking at the people in your life. Family and friends to work out who you can trust?

You remember those you have trusted in the past and wonder could you trust them again?

I decided that there are 1 or 2 folk from my past that I could trust if they were still in my life. They ain't so that ain't a valid point.

So I came to the conclusion there's nobody in my life right now that I can trust!!!

So how on I fix that?

I don't know the answer right now but I need to work something out cause the options ain't worth nothing.

I do have one option in my mind but I'm fighting so hard not to go that route!!!